I’m a big fan (that’s an understatement) of Jennifer & Greg Willits’ Rosary Army Podcast. In episode #196 of their podcast, they interviewed Lisa Duffy and Vince Frese, the authors of the book Divorced. Catholic. Now What? - Navigating Your Life After Divorce.

I just finished reading this book and am anxious to tell you all about it. Well, not ALL about it – you’ll need to read it yourself to get the WHOLE story – but I definitely want to tell a little about it along with my impressions of it.

The authors are both Catholics who have experienced divorce. You can read more about them here.

The book consists of 251 pages split into 17 chapters. So it’s a fairly short book but it’s jam packed with important information!  I wish I’d had this book 6 years ago when my divorce was final…or even before that when I was separated.  At any rate, I’m very glad to have it NOW!

As you can tell, I liked this book and HIGHLY recommend it to YOU. But why?

Being a practicing Catholic is not an easy ‘role’ in our society. I would venture to say that it becomes even more difficult after a divorce.  I mean, Catholics aren’t supposed to divorce!  I’m sure that anyone who goes through a divorce feels like something of a failure but a divorced CATHOLIC?!  Good grief…now there’s a failure for you. (No, I don’t think this is true – just giving a possible impression)

On top of that, if you’re TRULY practicing your faith, you know that you can’t remarry in the Church unless you first receive a Declaration of Nullity of your marriage (yet another ‘trial’ to face) – and if you’re a truly practicing Catholic, you definitely don’t want to marry outside of the church.

So, here you are divorced and experiencing the hell and loneliness of that. Society tells you to pursue relationships as soon as possible in order to bolster your self esteem and soothe some of the horrid loneliness and rejection that you feel.  Not only that, but you’re told to also pursue sexual intimacy in those relationships for the same reasons and, again, as soon as possible. And, actually, those suggestions sound like just what you need and want!

But wait…you’re Catholic…a practicing Catholic…so not all of those options are really options for YOU. (and for good reasons) BOTHER!  Now What?!

Lisa and Vince did an amazing job of covering every aspect of what a divorced Catholic goes through. The Church’s position is also detailed and explained very well.  Then they go on to suggest ways of navigating all the trials and tribulations of divorce while remaining true to the faith.  This book is inspirational and motivational…and challenging.

My divorce was final 6 1/2 years ago. I received a Declaration of Nullity 2 years ago.  I haven’t remarried but hope to one day.  In the meantime, I want to remain true to my faith and this book has helped me to be stronger.  I’m sure I’ll need to reread parts of it for a ’shot in the arm’ now and then (i.e. often!).

You know how it’s very comforting to be in the company of people who share beliefs that are very important to you? This is what this book did for me…it made me feel supported and it reaffirmed my beliefs – beliefs that are looked upon as rather ‘bizarre’ in our society.  It also challenged me but gave me hope at the same time.

I know that’s all very ‘general’ so here are some details…

Each chapter follows the same format:

• An introduction to the subject of that chapter
• “The Case” – a short narrative from a person about their experience regarding this subject
• A discussion of the subject
• “Concluding Thoughts”
• “Now What?” – a discussion of some steps you might take next
• A “Meditation” consisting of a bible passage, a prayer, a “petition,” a little more discussion, then a closing prayer.
• A “Resolution” – a shorter “Now What?” section consisting of just one ‘next step’
• And, finally, “Suggested Readings”

I thought the prayers & petitions, which were very short and to the point, were right on target and I plan to return to them.

I’m also looking forward to reading some of the books listed in the “Suggested Readings” sections (look for more book reviews in the future!).

Now that I’ve read my copy through once, I’m eager to pass it on to a close friend. I think I’ll be ordering  a couple more copies to have on hand to give away to friends who find themselves experiencing this hell called divorce.

If/when you also read this book, please let us know YOUR thoughts on it!

Manya

P.S. By the way, something that Lisa and Vince did a great job of (but that I didn’t in this post) is in emphasizing the wonderful strength and support that’s to be found in our faith! Seek it out.