Divorced Catholic Moms – This Week’s Quote

Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.
– St. Bartholomew

We’ve experienced divorce so we have obviously experienced a great deal of pain. There is a temptation to never again be involved in a loving relationship (and, of course, as a Catholic you should not become involved in another relationship unless you’ve received a Declaration of Nullity and are again free to marry in the church). At any rate, the fear of going through this pain again can keep a person from being open to another relationship.

“What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.”

To me this means that if we shut ourselves down due to fear of experiencing this pain again, we may very well be shutting ourselves off from huge blessings – and the possibility of fully recovering by growing beyond the pain and experiencing the best we can be. And…it seems to me that if I built a wall around my heart, I would be dooming myself to never actually moving beyond the pain and, instead, accepting and even embracing a certain level of pain that would always remain. It’s that old, “this hurts but I’m used to it and can handle it – I don’t, however, know if I can handle what might happen if I move on.”

Each time I read this quote and think about it, it seems to have a different meaning to me. Please let me know what it means to you.
Manya