CatholicMom.com – Anger
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I’ve added yet another category…links for Catholic moms. The first one is this – CatholicMom.com. An excellent site! DO subscribe to the RSS feed or sign up to receive updates by email. Lisa Hendey is the founder and webmaster…she’s also an author now with a book recently published - The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Body, Mind & Soul. I haven’t yet read this but I’m pretty sure it’s a gem…(note to self – get a copy).
However…the reason for THIS post is to let you know about a post on Lisa’s site that I want to share with you here because it’s appropriate. The title of the post is How Anger Crosses the Line.
Before I give you the link so you can get over there to read it, I want to give my opinions about some of the things said in the article.
Basically, it’s about anger and how it can affect a person. I think I can safely state that every person who has experienced separation and divorce is angry about something (or lots of things). And being angry is not a sin. Go ahead and be angry, you probably have good reason to be.
But…control your anger and don’t dwell in that state. Feel it and then let it go.
I know I’m simplifying here…it’s not easy to “let it go” all in one fell swoop, but little by little, you’ll be able to do it. The most important point here is to not intentionally (stubbornly) hold onto anger, but to intentionally let it go.
Have you noticed that it’s easier to be angry than to be hurt? When I was deep in the hell of separation & divorce, the days when I felt truly angry were much easier to bear than the days when I felt raw and HURT. It’s easy to see the danger in this…a person could nurture the anger in order to keep from feeling the pain. Please don’t fall into that trap. A perpetually angry person is not a healthy person – emotionally, physically or spiritually. And just think how being a perpetually angry mom will negatively affect your children.
Please read Lisa’s article on anger. She touches on different types of anger, explains them and how they affect our relationships and ourselves. One type of anger she talks about is “contempt.” That one hit home for me and, curiously, she explains how this one is poison to a relationship. I’m sorry to say that I have first hand knowledge of the truth of that…
By the way, anger is one big reason why I encourage all divorced Catholics to go through the annulment process. My experience was that as I was “made to” thoroughly examine my relationship, I realized the things that went wrong and that I had a great deal to do with what went wrong (not an easy pill to swallow – but eye opening and healing!). You see, when I saw that I was also at fault, I was able to forgive my ex-husband (a little at a time…but the door to forgiveness was thrown open). And that felt good! And forgiving helped me to heal and move on.
I didn’t mean to write so much…forgive my long-windedness…. and, finally, here’s the link to Lisa’s article:
May God bless you and bring you peace.
Manya
