Priorities in Marriage

I hesitate to write this post because I’m not sure how appropriate it is for this blog…however, I just read an article about marriage that really struck home with me. And I rationalize mentioning it here in a post by thinking/knowing that some of us will remarry again (if a Declaration of Nullity is received first…right?!).

Anyway…

The article is Your Marriage Is More Important Than Your Kids.  When I was married, I heard this again and again…but could never come to terms with it.  How could anything or anyone be more important than our kids?  They were KIDS, for pete’s sake…they needed to be taken care of 24/7.  My husband was an adult..and their father…surely he felt the same way I did…and if he didn’t (and he didn’t), then he’d just have to grow up and OUR turn would come after the “children” years were behind us.  Does that thought process sound familiar to anyone?  Perhaps yes and perhaps no…but it was my thought process all the same.

Now, I get it.  Perhaps I was the one who needed to grow up before I could fully understand.

Making my husband and marriage more of a priority than our kids did NOT mean neglecting our kids.  It simply meant making more time for my husband and our marriage.  Of course…as the article points out…sometimes we make our kids a higher priority because we use them as a means of avoiding our spouse.  My husband and I disagreed about many things, so there was probably avoidance going on..

Sigh.  If only I had fully understood that making our relationship the top priority was absolutely the best thing we could do for our children.  However, I guess I was in denial to a certain extent or, more probably, just very naive.  I took for granted that my husband would hang in there…no matter what.

At any rate, I agree with what this article has to say and I hope it might help someone who happens upon this blog and either has not yet divorced or is remarried.

Forgive me if this article causes anyone pain…I’m hoping that it might help someone to avoid this mistake and, as a result, avoid divorce…and the pain that brings.

May God bless and bring you peace.

Manya