This article came to me via email this morning, which prompted this post.  If you have teenage daughters, I encourage you to read it.

How is it that some of us parents have come to the point of feeling like we can’t tell our kids “no”….?  Of course, very few of us like conflict, especially with our kids….but sometimes there’s no getting around it.  Our first and most important “job” is to raise our children to know God and to know right from wrong.  It’s our right and DUTY to say “No”  to our children when they make inappropriate choices.

Of course, there’s a kind and loving way to say ‘no’, while instructing at the same time…and there’s an “I have spoken” way of saying ‘no.’  Hopefully, the kind, loving, instructional way is used first…and will suffice.  If not, then don’t hesitate to resort to the old time tested version of “no” (which we all heard when WE were teens)….”Because I’m your mother and I said so.”

By the way, here’s an article on how to speak with an angry teenager that I also think is helpful.

Good luck!

May God bless you and bring you peace.
Manya

Today is the 6th day of the Divine Mercy Novena.    Many amazing promises are attached to this novena. I encourage you to go to a Catholic bookstore to pick up a Divine Mercy pamphlet that tells you the story behind it, too, so you can keep the prayers with you and not be tied to the computer while reciting them.

Day 6 Intention: The meek and humble souls and the souls of little children

Today bring to Me the meek and humble souls and the souls of little children and immerse them in My mercy.  These souls most closely resemble My Heart.  They strengthened Me during My bitter agony.  I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars.  I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace.  Only the humble soul is capable of receiving My grace.  I favor humble souls with My confidence.

“Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, ‘Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart.’ Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek and humble souls and the souls of little children.  These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father’s favorites.  They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God himself take delight in their fragrance.  These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they undeasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek souls, upon humble souls, and upon little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus.  These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son.  Their fragrance rises from the eathe and raches Your very throne.  Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of Your mercy for endless ages.  Amen.”

This is a chaplet, which means there’s a series of prayers to be said and you can use a rosary to help keep track:

Recite the following:

The Our Father

The Hail Mary

The Apostles’ Creed

On the large beads (Our Father beads):

Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

On the small beads (Hail Mary beads):

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Continue those prayers around the entire rosary, always meditating on the intention for today. Then say the following three times:

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Done…til tomorrow.

I highly recommend that you check out Coming Home Catholic.  It’s a great place to go for information and direction when it comes to teaching your children about our fantastic faith.  It’s also a great place to go to teach yourself more about our faith….

Here’s a link to today’s newsletter – Coming Home Catholic Newsletter

Be sure to sign up to receive the newsletter each week via email.  The family who writes it really knows the Catholic faith and how to make it easy to understand….and how to thoroughly understand it!  Follow some of their links and see where they take you.  It’s pretty awesome.

Have a lovely Friday…and may God bless you and bring you peace.

Manya

Here it is August – the month when probably most of the people in the world go on vacation.

I just wanted to remind you of an awesome website where you can find churches and mass times for most anywhere in the world.

Sooooo……there’s no need to miss mass while you’re on vacation.

There are legitimate reasons to miss mass, like when you’re sick or when there is no way you can get to a church on Saturday evening or Sunday morning or on a Holy Day of Obligation because…well, there’s more than one reason why someone might not be able to get to a mass. However, simply being on vacation is not a legitimate reason for missing mass.

Actually, being on vacation is a really good time to visit new churches and have new experiences. Also, when I was young, my mom told me that whenever you visit a church you’ve never been in before, you should say three Hail Mary’s and make a special request.

Going to mass while on vacation is also an excellent way to show your children how important it is to follow the precepts of the church at all times. (For more on that, see Keeping Catholicism in the Home After Divorce) And remember…not fulfilling your Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation obligations simply because it’s inconvenient to do so (i.e. you don’t really feel like it) is a grave sin (i.e. a mortal sin). It surprises me how many Catholics don’t know that….

Anyway – here’s that site for you. Mass Times.

Have a marvelous time on vacation and store up
lots of wonderful memories!

Manya

ST. EUGENE DE MAZENOD

My apologies.  I just realized that when I originally published this post, I got the story wrong.  I thought that St. Eugene was the father but, it turns out, he was the son.  I still believe, though, that he should be the patron saint of divorced fathers because he witnessed what his father went through.  He should ALSO be the patron saint of children of divorce!

If you’re a Catholic dad whose wife left him and, also, left you with financial problems, AND left your children, too…..well, this scenario is not new. St. Eugene De Mazenod knows something of what you’re going through.

Back in 18th century France, the family had to flee the country due to the French Revolution (they were aristocrats and had reason to believe that death by guillotine awaited them). Once the danger passed, his mother left him and his father in Venice and returned to France, then divorced his father, reclaimed her dowry (which her family made sure remained in her name…hmm, one of the first prenuptial agreements?) and sent his father a note saying, “You now have nothing.” (Which goes to show what kind of a mother she was if she considered money to have value but not their son….)

So, there he was in a foreign country with his father and no money. (You see, even though his father was from an aristocratic family, he entered the marriage a poor man.) I’m sure there are many divorced, Catholic men who can understand how he must have felt and the pain and troubles he had to endure.

My point here, though, is that this man…this saint…understands what YOU’RE going through! He’s there for you – talk to him, ask his prayers, guidance and support.

I wish each of you a very Happy Fathers’ Day.
May God bless you & your children and bring you peace.

Manya

Just a quick post today – actually simply sharing a post from another blog with you!  I came across this on twitter and thought it very worthwhile to share here.  While this post is written by a father who is married, I think it pertains to single parents, too.

Be forewarned that reading this post may make you a bit sad and envious, because it’s written by a man who is obviously in a good and holy marriage that is filled with love, which might make the pain of our failed marriages a bit sharper for a moment.  Still, witnessing relationships like this offers hope that each of us, too, might be  a part of such  a relationship some day… and that our children will also experience such blessed relationships when they become adults.  God willing!

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because it has to do with raising Catholic children and the “best” way to show them how to live and how to love.

Please take a few minutes to read this beautifully written post – Raising Gianna.

As single parents  whose spouses are quite possibly not helping to raise our children Catholic, we DO have a harder time of it.  However, never underestimate the power of even just one very positive influence in your child’s life!  BE that positive influence….

God bless and bring you peace.

Manya

Please take 9 minutes to watch this video.  It has something profound to say about our relationships with our children as well as about the Catholic view of the human body and sex.  ( hint:  they’re both from God and, therefore, VERY good…when God is kept in the picture!)

As Catholics, we weren’t (or shouldn’t have been) brought up to believe the human body and sex are “bad” and the source of evil and sin.  Unfortunately, though, it seems that the majority of people, both Catholics and non-Catholics, are under the impression that that’s the Catholic view.  Nothing could be further from the truth!

Have you read Pope John Paul II’s writings regarding sex?  I haven’t, I’m sorry to say, but I HAVE read what Christopher West wrote in Theology of the Body for Beginners which is based on the writings of John Paul II.  I highly recommend this book for adults and, also, young adults.

In a nutshell – Catholics believe that sex between spouses is GOOD and an integral part of marriage.  Pope John Paul II even said that sex is holy!   Within marriage and as a way of bonding with your spouse in the most loving way imaginable – wanting only what is best for each other and NOT using each other for lustful purposes – sex is amazing, fulfilling, good and enjoyable.  Of course!  It is truly giving yourself completely to another person – the person you love and have committed yourself to for life.  And when that person is doing the same – loves you with all their heart, has committed his/her life to you and wants to show you that love – well, I don’t think it can get much better than that.  THIS is what the Catholic faith teaches and believes!

I haven’t yet read Christopher West’s newest book,  Heaven’s Song: Sexual Love As It Was Meant To Be .  It covers the  “‘hidden’ talks of John Paul II’s Theology of the Body.”  JPII deemed these talks “too delicate to be delivered in St. Peter’s Square.”  I think he was concerned that his words would be taken out of context and misunderstood, as is SO easily done with this topic – especially by the media.  (see the links in my P.S. at the end of this post for a great example)

As divorced Catholics, I’d venture to guess that most of us did not experience the wonders of sexual love in our marriages as God meant it to be.  If we had, I’m pretty sure that our marriages would not have fallen apart.  I’m not saying that a good marriage is based primarily on a couple’s sexual relationship, but that the physical relationship is intimately connected to the emotional relationship.  I pray that we will all be blessed with the chance to experience love and marriages that are truly from God.  And that we all are blessed with the wisdom, patience  and faith we need in order to choose wisely and live our beliefs (i.e. pursue an annulment before pursuing a relationship…keep sexual love for and within marriage…and give control to God so that this road will ultimately be easier and more joyful).

I’m afraid that I’m starting to ramble now, so I’ll stop. 

God bless and bring you peace…and may the Holy  Spirit guide us always.

Manya

P.S. Kind of flabbergasted by Christopher West’s ABC interview – http://tinyurl.com/CWestABCinterview

I have very mixed feelings about some of the things Christopher West said and how he said them, but it is obvious that ABC manipulated his words and, beyond that, they refer to him as a sex therapist…where did THAT come from?!  Also, this interview was boiled down from being hours long to lasting only a few minutes.  Of course, there will be distortion and much taken out of context.  At any rate, if you get a chance to watch the interview and read the comments (post-interview) from Theology of the Body, please let me know your point of view.

Post-interview comments here http://tinyurl.com/poyza2.

watch?v=gqRKvNX4IKU&rel=0&color1=0×6699&color2=0x54abd6&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1

Are your kids counting down the days til the 1st day of summer vacation? Mine are! Actually, so am I!

I love it when my kids are out of school. I taught my kids at home for 12 years and loved having them home all the time, the freedom of deciding for ourselves what we’d study and when and not being tied to someone else’s schedule! AND I loved not having to get up extra early to get the kids to school. Ugh.

During the school year, we get to bed by about 10 (my youngest is 14 so she’s allowed to stay up later now) so that we can be awake enough at 6am to function at least on a rudimentary level. During the summer, however, I find that we stay up later and later as the summer goes on, which is great for going out for late walks and then still having time to watch a movie!

What are your plans for summer?

I think family vacations are VERY important and love to go on them. Unfortunately, we aren’t able to go on long ones like we used to but we still get out AT LEAST for long weekends now and then. Of course, as my children get older, it’s becoming nearly impossible to find times when we can all get away together.

However, we’re planning to go on a one night camping trip soon just a few hours from here at The Great Sand Dunes. We’ve been wanting to go there for years and, if the weather cooperates, this will be the year that it happens. This time of year, for a short time, water runs through the park and we’re hoping to catch that and have warm enough weather to actually be able to play in it! And, of course, we’ll be getting lots of exercise by hiking up the dunes and sliding down on sleds. I’m excited.

This year, my children are taking some vacations together, which I think is wonderful! My two oldest daughters have already booked two weeks in Boston & New York. When they get back from there, my son and second oldest daughter will be driving to CA and Vancouver. (Yes, I’m nervous about this but they’re old enough and it’ll be a great adventure for them. So, time for Mom to grit her teeth, bear it and let go… ) My youngest will be spending some time with her grandparents. Then, hopefully, sometime in August we’ll all find time to take a driving vacation together for a week.

A few months ago, we headed to Seattle for the weekend because there was a last minute, fantastic air fare sale that I couldn’t pass up.  I’m so glad I jumped at the chance because fares haven’t been as low since and, actually, the very next day they shot up again. We’d not been to Seattle together before and had a great time “discovering” it.  It was kind of strange standing in the original Starbucks and thinking that it was once the only one in the world!  And the Hoh Rainforest was amazing!!!

We tend to take whirlwind vacations these days because we need to take advantage of the day or two when two or three (or all?!) of us have time to get away. Last year, my oldest and youngest and I jumped in the car and drove down to Durango (a 6 hour drive), spent one night and came back the next day.  Craziness? To lots of people, yes, but we had a blast.  And, strangely enough, it “seemed” like we’d been gone much longer than we were. Durango is a beautiful town to walk around AND Mesa Verde National Park is not far from there.  We spent the afternoon there but most of it happened to be closed at that time of year.  Still, we saw enough to know that we want to go back!

At the end of June, my oldest daughter and I will be attending the Catholic New Media conference in San Antonio! I’m really looking forward to that. Let me know if you’ll be there so we can meet in person. It’s going to be wonderful to meet the Catholic bloggers and podcasters who I’ve come to ‘know’ over the years.

Family vacations are all about getting away from the “everyday” for a little while (or a long while, if you can) and making memories – together. Memories….make lots of good ones that you will all cherish for the rest of your lives.  And the bond those memories create between you and your children is priceless!

Remember, time away together does not have to be a big production.  When we don’t have the time or money to really get away, we’ll spend a day being tourists in downtown Denver and that’s a great time, too. 

God bless you and yours and may you experience more of His amazing creation (including each other) – together.

Manya

First, I apologize for being “gone” so long from posting. Life has been a challenge lately – some very good challenges (my business is booming!) and some not good at all (my 87 yr old father fell and hurt his leg).  Thankfully, my dad didn’t break anything but he did a number on his leg which is making mobility very difficult to regain.  He’ll get there, though.  In the meantime, finding time to post here is yet another challenge.

My daughter and I spent today at a retreat for all those making their confirmations. I must admit that I had a very poor attitude going into it (which I did pretty well at keeping from my daughter, I’m happy to say.)  Let me apologize right now to all of you who teach catechism.  I admire you greatly for giving your time.  Unfortunately, the catechism programs I’ve had experience with have been less than inspiring.  But then, I haven’t had experience with many!  I’m sure there are some very good ones out there.

My daughter, on the other hand, had a very good attitude going into it (relatively speaking). You see, we had some clashes at the beginning of the year over her taking catechism classes at church.  We ended up compromising.  I would teach her at home if she promised to be respectful and have a good attitude.  She has kept up her end of the bargain!

The day started at 9am and was slated to go until 5:30! Oy vey…a very long day.  As it turned out, it actually ended at 4.  Parents were invited so I lurked in the shadows, so to speak.  (I was the only parent who accepted the invitation!)  I’m thrilled to report that it was a pretty good program.  They spoke very little about confirmation but spoke a lot about purity and learning about your faith and not giving into peer pressure and the fact that some things ARE black and white (right and wrong) and there IS a hell.  (There was no fire and brimstone , thank heavens.)

The day was run by two men in their late 20′s. They did a great job of sharing personal experiences in the hope that the kids would learn from their mistakes and the fact that they both returned to their faith after turning away from it in college.  I think that kind of teaching is usually the most effective.  Also, it helped that they weren’t that much older than the kids they were talking to.

Since I last posted about teaching our kids, I’ve been told about, reminded of and have also discovered some other materials you might find useful.

• Divinity: The New Catholic Catechism Learning System (a game, but that title doesn’t make it sound like much fun:()

I’ve seen this in catalogues several times but never tried it because it didn’t sound like it held much promise as something we’d want to play more than once.  A couple weeks ago, though, I came across it in person in the gift shop at church.  So, I took the plunge.   We’ve only played it twice, but we had fun and I think my daughter will pick up tidbits of knowledge over time that will stick with her.  For one thing, she’s learning her prayers better!  There’s a square labeled “Pray” and if you land on it, you have to recite a prayer that you’ve memorized.

Roughly, this is the way it’s played.  You roll the dice, move that number of spaces and then someone needs to choose a question for you to answer (there are usually about 6 from which you can choose.)  The questions are in categories (specified on the square) and there are also three different levels from which players can choose.

The first night we played, my oldest daughter (24 yrs old) and I chose questions from the “difficult” level and my youngest daughter used “easy.”   The second time we played, we all used the “easy” level.  Yep, the “difficult” was as advertised.

I’ve also learned some things from the questions (and answers).  There IS a question or answer now and then that is worded in a confusing way.  And sometimes the answers don’t have as much explanation as I’d like them to have – but I guess that’s what the Catechism of the Catholic Church is for.

I recommend this game for teenagers and up.

• Jeff Cavin’s Bible Timeline for Teens “T3Timeline.

This was recommended to me by a woman who was on the DivorcedCatholic.com conference call that I told you about.  (That was  a great call, by the way.  There will be another on Feb. 25th. and I’ll post info soon.)

Here is what she had to say about this program:

Our parish scripture sudy group completed the adult 24 week version, “The Great Adventure: A Journey Through the Bible.”  Jeff Cavins is a remarkable teacher and scholar.  If you’re not familiar with his story, read his book, Life on the Rock, or watch him on EWTN.

A small group of teens at our parish did the T3 eight week study and it was well received.  And if you haven’t done the adult version, I highly recommend it for you and anyone looking to better understand our Catholic faith.

Thank you, Kristin, for that recommendation!

• The Faith and Life Series

I used this series of books with my kids when we were homeschooling and liked them better than anything else I’d found.  The artwork in them is wonderful  – reprints of masterpieces.  I do read to my daughter from both the 7th and 8th grade books on occasion and I can highly recommend them for solid catechism related in a down to earth manner.

That’s all I have for now. PLEASE share with us the books, games, etc. that you’ve had great success with and let’s grow this list!

God bless you and bring you peace.

Manya

P.S.  Here’s a link to some wise words on the subject of teaching our children about their faith  – Fallible Blogma.