Archive for Grief
Christmas Can Be Painful for Divorced Catholics
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Just a quick note to wish you all a very, merry Christmas. This can be a very difficult time of year for those going through separation and divorce as well as for those who have been divorced for a while but who find that this time of year can magnify feelings of loneliness and loss. And if this is the year when your spouse gets to spend Christmas day with your children….well, enough said. That’s just even harder.
I wish you all faith that grows stronger now and into the new year. For this is the key to the speediest and most complete, deep down recovery from the pain, fear and changes that are brought about by divorce. If you find that your faith is weak right now because of the divorce, please hang in there and “fake it til you make it.” This is exactly what happened to me but I kept practicing my faith and trying to pray…and my faith eventually returned stronger than ever. And I became stronger than ever as a result.
Also…I’ve highly recommended this so many times and in so many places, but please bear with me while I recommend it again….go to www.DivorcedCatholic.com and join the site (it’s free!) and then become active on the forum. It’s a great place to talk with others who understand what you’re going through and this is VERY healing. It’s quite a gift from the authors of Divorced. Catholic. Now What? – Lisa Duffy and Vince Frese. Please take advantage of it being there for you.
God bless you and your children and bring you peace!
And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Manya
By the way..I’ve decided to start off the year by going through the process of total consecration to Jesus through Mary. This entails daily prayers and readings for approx. 30 days (if you go through the entire process). I plan to give more info here but if you want info now, go HERE. I also purchased the book that is recommended for this, but they say it’s not necessary to have. Greg & Jennifer Willits of The Rosary Army have made all the prayers available on their site and you can even download the audio prayers to your iPod! I’ll be starting on Dec. 31st…perhaps we could go through this together. 
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Separation & Divorce – The Grieving Process
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The death of a marriage is very very similar to the death of a loved one. In some ways, it can be worse (in my opinion).
For me, the death of my husband’s love for me and the subsequent destruction of our marriage was the worst thing I’d ever experienced. The extenuating circumstances, of course, have a lot to do with the level of pain involved.
As I went through separation and divorce, I felt, and still feel, that the only pain that could have been worse would have been the death of one of my children.
From the time my marriage was dealt the first really destructive blow until the day the divorce was final was a period of 2 1/2 years. That was a time of intense pain, disappointment, fear, panic, denial, hope (occasionally), strength… and weakness.
For well over a year, I cried at least once every day…but it was usually more than once. Up until that point, I had cried maybe once every 5 years, if that! In other words, I’m not a crier by nature, so this was way out of character for me and it was horrid.
What would make the tears start?
- a thought – a memory
- a song playing in the background at the grocery store
- the sight of couples
- the sight of families with both a mom AND a dad
- a thought – a memory
- a commercial on tv
- thoughts and memories!
How do you work towards making the crying stop?
