Comments on: Divorced And Still Catholic!

By: Manya

Manya — Thu, 03 May 2012 14:15:10 +0000

Andrew,
Pray and ask for strength, understanding, patience, perseverance…for you and your children…and their mother…through this difficult time. God bless and bring you peace.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 12:59:36 +0000

Manya…. I have been separated for 14 months and will be divorced in a few weeks. I am catholic and wanted to save the marriage with counseling but she refuses. I’m finding it hard to let go… since we had 5 kids together. I feel she is getting bad advice from her family who supports divorce and do not follow the church teachings. A civil Divorce is just that, we will not truly be separate until an annulment… that doesnt seem to matter to her. Any advice?

By: Manya

Manya — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 03:50:49 +0000

Annette,
I’m sorry your parish doesn’t give any readily apparent support to divorced Catholics. Many years ago, the parish I was in at the time also didn’t…until I spoke with “them” about it and, in fairly short order, there was a support group for divorced Catholics and even a retreat. Speak to your pastor about it or whomever is in charge of such groups at your parish. You could also call your diocesan offices and find out if there are any such groups at neighboring parishes. I also suggest, as I so often do, going to http://www.DivorcedCatholic.com and checking out their programs. They have one that they’ve “taught” in parishes and that can be purchased by parishes…you could become a teacher of it yourself if you felt so inclined.

I wish you the best in locating – or helping to create – what you and others in your area need.
Manya

By: Annette

Annette — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 16:36:05 +0000

There is so much talk about marriage, improving and preserving it, blah, blah, blah, in Protestant and Catholic circles.

Yet when a marriage does fail, there is no talk about what to do to help the divorcee pick up the pieces. Its as if we have fallen off the face of the earth. We’re “failures”, we “didn’t try hard enough” or “didn’t pray enough”. My parish of 700 families has nothing in the way of help or support for divorced persons. We’re still here, we still contribute money to the parish, and we still attend Mass. Yet we are the invisible men and women.

By: Annette

Annette — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:19:26 +0000

I have been married three times and have three annulments. So it is possible to receive an annulment – if I can you can too.

I have no plans to remarry, but the annulment process was an instrument in my healing the wounds of divorce. I now know, for instance, that I was not meant to be married even though “society” made me feel that having a husband and a family was the only socially acceptable way to live my life. I would have been much happier as a single but that was not even presented as an option.

I am a convert to the Catholic faith. How I wish I had grown up as a Catholic!

It is true that Protestant communities are much more accepting of divorce and divorced people. But remember, we have the Holy Sacraments of Grace given to us by God to strengthen us in our life’s journey.

Peace.

By: Manya

Manya — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:59:20 +0000

Sarah,
You bring up an interesting point.

We have all tried to heal our marriages. I’m sure that after a divorce takes place, for some there is still hope and prayers for the marriage to be restored. I’ve also heard of couples remarrying each other again after divorce. I hope this happens for you.

There comes a point when a person needs to let go and move on for their own emotional and physical health. I guess it’s assumed that this moment usually comes by the time the divorce is finalized. Also, some of us have spouses who remarry soon after the divorce, which takes all hope for reconciling away.

I remember the exact moment when I realized it was time for me to move on. It wasn’t an easy thing to do because I wanted my relationship with my husband and I’d held on and fought for it for so long. But there was actually a moment when it became crystal clear to me that it was time to stop and refocus my energy.

I’m sorry you feel alone as a Catholic trying to heal her relationship after divorce. I don’t know what Protestant communities have in the way of support after divorce but I’d love to hear more about that if/when you have time. I don’t believe that having the possibility of receiving a Declaration of Nullity is the reason Catholics don’t have the same sort of support.

God bless and bring you peace.
Manya

By: sarah

sarah — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:01:34 +0000

Is there support and help for those who are Catholic and have been divorced against their will but are praying for their marriage to be restored? I hear a lot about annulment and moving on, but what about healing what was broken? Just wondering, because I feel very alone as a Catholic with this stance, although for some reason there is support in the Protestant community, is this because they don’t have annulments? God bless.

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:07:57 +0000

Hi Manya,

This is just an FYI that Servant Books will publish a new book this fall titled “Annulment: 100 Questions and Answers for Catholics” written by two canon lawyers: Pete Vere, J.C.L., and Jacqui Rapp, J.D., J.C.L. The book will be available in October.

Chris

By: Manya

Manya — Sun, 31 May 2009 16:30:04 +0000

Thank you. God bless you and help you.

Manya

By: maeann66

maeann66 — Sat, 30 May 2009 16:28:50 +0000

Thanks for this post. Have been separated from my husband of almost 10 years for 8 yeras now. I have had the papers for annulment for years but they remain untouched. I am not ready yet to retrieve all the unpleasant and hurtful memories of my life and write them down. I can’t as yet go through all those again. But this post gives me an assurance that there is someone who understands what I am going through.